


Crumble

by arthur_pendragon



Series: Brittle [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Incest, M/M, Modern Era, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 05:10:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13991166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arthur_pendragon/pseuds/arthur_pendragon
Summary: Arthur swallows. He doesn’t recognise the Merlin shivering in front of him.





	Crumble

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pelydryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pelydryn/gifts).



> i really want to say that [Pelydryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pelydryn) and her amazing comments on all the fills i've done so far did wonders for my confidence and i just _choked up irl, bye_

Arthur makes sure they don’t talk about it. Not when Merlin pulls out a photo album from when they were kids and glares at the sunny children beaming back from glossy paper. Arthur kicks it out of Merlin’s hands and kisses the ensuing bruises better. They don’t talk about it, not when Arthur’s typing out his university applications on their ancient computer and Merlin is hidden under the desk on his knees, between Arthur’s trembling thighs, licking and kissing and _moaning_ and gasping because Arthur’s bare heel is clinically wrecking Merlin’s sanity.  
  
The closest they’ve ever come (to talking about it, to getting caught) is when Arthur lazily asks Merlin one evening, sitting in front of the TV as their parents are out trying to salvage their marriage: “Best candy you’ve ever had?” and Merlin without hesitation leans over and presses his face into Arthur’s crotch and _breathes_ and Arthur strips Merlin on the sofa then and there and watches him come undone on the cushions they spent a childhood together on and listens to his soft mewling as Arthur sucks and bites on Merlin’s pink nipples and tries not to think about the curtains left open mere feet away.  
  
They don’t kiss on the mouth. They used to, they used to spend precious minutes alone intimately learning how to converse through the touch of mouths like they breathed, but not anymore. Merlin almost made Arthur break his self-imposed abstinence, just once, and Arthur clings to the memory, the time Merlin got caught nicking their mother’s lipstick and laughed as she punished him exactly the way he wanted by painting his mouth with it. Arthur got up and walked out, lungs on fire, but Merlin found him in the bathroom and closed 1. the door behind him and 2. gorgeous red lips around his older brother’s cock as Arthur found himself unable to tear his eyes away from Merlin’s scorching gaze.  
  
(The almost-kiss happened when Arthur pushed Merlin up against the wall after; Merlin dug his heels into the small of Arthur’s back and pressed their foreheads together, Arthur’s mouth millimetres from his own. Arthur very nearly capitulated; there was just _something_ about Merlin.  
  
“Arthur, stay with me,” Merlin begged, scrabbling for purchase on all the skin Arthur’s freely allowed him access to all these years, ever since Merlin could lay hands on someone else, and Arthur closed his eyes and pulled away and let Merlin slide to the cold floor alone, a coward just for this.)  
  


***

  
“Cambridge,” their father booms one night, striding into the house and holding a letter aloft. “I’m proud of you, son.”  
  
Merlin quietly eats his dinner and vanishes into his bedroom.  
  
“You knew this was going to happen,” Arthur says softly, later that night as Merlin lashes out and refuses to let Arthur into his bed. “Two years later you’ll be applying, too, and you can come to my college and we can live together somewhere in London for the rest of our lives.”  
  
“You’ll be gone by the time I get there, you'll have started a band or won a prize or found a wife or grown to hate me,” Merlin mumbles, drunk on anguish. “I’ll never see you again. I don’t _want_ to see you again.”  
  
“Come on, Merlin,” Arthur says, worried—terrified—that those are Merlin’s real feelings. “You can’t mean that.”  
  
“You leave me first every time,” Merlin says, starting to cry now, strangled, as if saying this is killing him.  
  
Arthur has no idea what Merlin’s talking about. He’s never left Merlin’s side since the day Merlin was born. He’s been there for Merlin’s first word and his first step and his first 100-mark in school. He’s been there since Merlin asked for his first kiss and his first French kiss and his first wank-off and his first fuck to belong to Arthur and he’s always claimed all of Merlin’s breaths and his body and his skin, always, all of it, forever.  
  
“You’re so sure that I’ll always follow, so fucking sure, that you never bother to look back, you _never_ remem—you never look for me again.”  
  
Arthur swallows. He doesn’t recognise the Merlin shivering in front of him.  
  
“Let me,” he says hoarsely, and Merlin lets him. Lets Arthur worship Merlin’s arsehole with nothing but his fingers. Lets Arthur moan like a whore as he laves Merlin’s cock with his tongue. Lets Arthur fuck himself on it.  
  
Their parents watch the TV at the maximum volume downstairs.  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I love you, you’re my darling little brother and I couldn’t possibly live without you, I’m so sorry for hurting you,” Arthur whispers as Merlin comes in him, sobbing and clutching desperately at Arthur, but he’s not sure what any of his words mean.

**Author's Note:**

> for [this prompt](https://kinksofcamelot.livejournal.com/1806.html?thread=132110#t132110) at the [kink meme](https://kinksofcamelot.livejournal.com) that I have a legitimate addiction to (but i only have a few days to go before my non-existent life churns into gear again so i suppose i'm making the most of my remaining time... unless these fics are all terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad, in which case i'm unsurprised and deeply sorry for inflicting myself upon you)
> 
> feedback/hugs/anything else welcomed with open arms


End file.
